CIGARETTE-STAINED HAND AND MESSY HAIR
Loving me will not be that easy. Some days I will be as good as an angel and there will be days that I will be your worst nightmare. I can be huffy at times but I’ll do my best to pull out that smile on your face. We’ll do things we’ve never done before, together. I’ll be your chef even if I can only cook some eggs and bacon at home. We’ll spend nights together telling stories and exchanging sweet words. And then we’ll fall asleep ‘coz your cigarette-stained hand, messy hair, last night’s clothes, comely face and crystal blue eyes are wonderful things to wake up to.
HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT
I tried to forget everything we’ve done together but something inside me screams “you still love him.” I kinda miss our movie nights when you suddenly don’t want to share your popcorn with me ‘cause you secretly got me my favourite snack. I yearn for your scent that I used to hate, how your whisper tickles my ear and sweet kisses just below my collarbones.. everything was right but I have yet ascertained if you loved me or not. I miss my cuddle buddy and I miss your face way too much.
So I woke up pretty early today, weird. It’s the 1st day of 2013 and here I am, writing an absurd post. Being home alone very early in the morning makes you realize tons of things. Makes me think of the people I sorely miss, to be exact. I don’t know where this post is heading but all I know is my need to vent.
2012 was undoubtedly a good year for me but something is still missing. I want to change my bad habits but writing a new year’s resolution is honestly, preposterous. One can always set a goal for himself/herself anytime of the year.
Another thing is, I am mad at myself for being this materialistic, selfish and uninspired. Not to mention an anonymous who successfully put my self-esteem down to zero. For these reasons, I just want to start over.
Alrighty, enough of this blabbing.. Let’s leave all the bad and negative behind in the old 2012 and take all the good and positive into the new 2013!
P.S. my trail of thoughts is a tad fidgety, hence the sudden change of ideas.
FICKLE HEART AND FICKLE THOUGHTS
Sometimes I feel like writing because I think I have something to contribute, something to offer. But then, today is different. I just want to scribble simply because I need to. I know I’m not one of those hardcore writers who have infinite and fixed thoughts. There were days that I can’t write anything because I’m running out of words or maybe because I’m just haunted with fear.
As of the moment, I’m feeling fickle, if that makes sense. My thoughts are all over and I don’t know what have caused my emotions to plummet. And this capricious heart of mine, seems a little bit restless. I’m really clueless where this post is going.. can’t seem to find the right words to utter.. so I’m leaving you guys with my disoriented and sketchy thoughts.
Sorry for babbling. Perhaps I only need to go out and have some fun. I miss my old life and the cheery, bright smile on my face.
Highlight of the day? I was being vain as usual, taking heaps of photos and posting some on instagram.
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